I [M40] and he [36M] were engaged then potentially separated after and currently working on things. I want to resolve some of our relationship challenges. One of the major ones is him not showing up for me as a partner and him not being a basic minimum of a responsible adult.

He continued to drive while impaired by weed so I wanted him off of my auto insurance a few months ago. He got separate insurance finally but never paid his premium and apparently has received lots of notices and cancellation warnings and I just saw one in the mail saying they are cancelling in 2 weeks as a final notice. He would likely just drive without insurance and not realize and could get a ticket or could be liable for a multi million dollar accident if he has one. He had done this before when he let his license lapse and when he let car registration lapse so obviously has not learned.

If I step in and remind him it’s me again being the parent / caretaker. If I don’t, he’s an adult and I guess can finally be subject to consequences but I’ll still feel horrible if something happens. Also if we do work on things and stay together it will affect me financially as well anyway. How do I not always have to be the parent / caretaker and carry all the mental load but him also not be in a life changing liability?

AITAH for allowing his auto insurance coverage to get cancelled?