My sister (30F) is getting married next year and is planning a destination wedding in an expensive location. She’s super excited, and I (32F) was thrilled for her—until she asked me to be a bridesmaid. While I’m honored, the costs for flights, accommodations, the dress, and all the other bridesmaid-related expenses are way out of my budget.

I’ve explained this to her, and while she offered to cover part of the dress cost, she expects me to pay for everything else. She said it’s a once-in-a-lifetime event and wants me to be a part of it. I feel guilty, but I can’t swing all these costs without going deeper into debt than I already am.

She says that if I truly cared, I’d find a way to make it work and that I’m being selfish for not putting her “big day” first. I don't have the cash; this is a quick engagement of 1 year, which doesn't give me time to save up. I've been in between jobs and draining my savings for a while now.

AITAH for telling my sister I can’t afford to be her bridesmaid because of her expensive destination wedding?