I love my partner so very fucking much, but I put up with a lot. They have no car, no job, they got about every illness in the book or some kind of problem mentally and physically. Recently they told me they get turned on when I treat them like a man during sex. So I have. But they're also asexual, so it's hard either way to turn them on and it makes me feel like our sex life isn't normal due to the fact that in allosexual relationships, people are more proactive about sex. And on top of that, my partner has a lot of pain and is always tired so sex is even rarer because of that.

I'm not transphobic in the slightest, I would support my partner with the correct pronouns and affirmations but I just don't know how on top of everything else that I'd be happy with fitting that change into my life. I prefer someone who looks like a woman, and I've grown to love the face and body that I see every day. The idea of that changing is saddening, but I also understand because I know how much pain and sadness my partner's current body brings them. I don't WANT to leave them, but I want to be happy in my relationship and I don't know if I'll be happy with them as a man. But I'm not going to hold them back in life. I do want them to be happy.