My uncle was convicted and went to jail for SA’ing his step-daughters. He said he did it and I sat in court and listened to them read his confession. So I believe he did it even if not everyone in my family is convinced.

Side note I was very disappointed in my family as they were upset with these girls mom for allowing the kids to go to the police and they wanted to handle it privately. I really didn’t agree with that view and felt it wouldn’t protect the children just my uncle and maybe my family’s reputation if people found out about the situation.

Once we had children my husband and I decided not to have our children around my uncle as we don’t always know if someone has inapropriate feelings but this one person for sure does and what does it say to our children if we take them near this person? Also I never liked this man my whole life he is a very angry/rude guy.

Most of my family disagrees with this and still has conflict over it 5 years later. We were told we are abandoning the family and that he isn’t going to hurt kids (guess what he already did?).

We never tried to make it an us vs him thing but we aren’t going to go if he is there. When there was a funeral we got babysitters for our children and hoped nobody would say anything as even if it wasn’t for this many people don’t take kids to funerals anyways. We actually did get pouted at about how they thought we would bring the kids and my uncle sat in the corner glaring the whole time.

I felt we could see our family at other times besides holidays since that’s the time everyone gets together usually but since we don’t go to holidays I hardly see my family. Pretty much the only time we see them is if we host something like a birthday party. So I felt we are not abandoning the family but they have shown little interest in seeing us outside of these family gatherings.

I really feel we made the right decision but after 5 years of my family upset and guilting us I have times where I think maybe I’m crazy for feeling this way about the situation.

A couple Christmas’ ago we didn’t go assuming he would be there and he didn’t go because he didn’t want to be around his daughter because she didn’t tell him she moved to the city. Nobody seemed to care he didn’t show up and that the reason seemed a lot weaker then ours. So I felt this supports my feelings that my family is just toxic.

AITAH or is my view clear and my family is a toxic environment and our decision is reasonable?