I guess this may be NSFW depending on how you feel about farts. My husband always farts while we are in bed together. We have a fan that always pushes it to me. So I’ve had to deal with his literal shit for years. He always claims he can’t control it due to IBS and his gallbladder being removed. Tonight, I got my revenge! One of our dogs usually sleeps under the covers right up against me. The other sleeps right by her but outside the covers. I got home later tonight due to a school function. The dogs were all in place and the stage was set! My husband came in and was rubbing the puppy on the outside of the covers. He was less than a foot away from my butt. I let one rip and he asked why our older dog, who was under the covers was growling at him. That growl wasn’t from her, but best McDonald’s/burrito bowl I’d been building up all day!! The smell hit him seconds later!!! I had finally got him back for the years of rotten eggs and garbage smell from him!! He yelped life a dog being sprayed by a skunk and ran to the bathroom where he was dry heaving. I know he deserved his rancid punishment, and can’t contain my laughter while he chugs Scopes and changes his clothes. Yes, I’m probably the asshole, but he deserves it!