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My BF came over a week ago with his friends to celebrate his B Day. We've been dating for almost 3 months now. I've been asking him what he wanted for his birthday and showed me a list. I said I would get him one thing bc money is tight as my Job is cutting shifts. I even picked up an extra shift when I was sick and not feeling well for the occasion.
Here's the thing, throughout our relationship I have been rude and too blunt at times,with jokes going to far and I've profusely apologized, even calling back and saying sorry again. He's not perfect either, sometimes I feel like he doesn't appreciate me enough, me constantly buying food for us having snacks stocked just for him to eat when he gets into my house when I'm not there, paying for his rides sometimes (neither of us have cars yet and we're Abt an 1.5 hrs apart), getting jewelry, among other things.
He only really buys me things on special days... Which I never really noticed too much until now. Don't Get me wrong, he's a sweet guy and a good person but I feel he can be rather aloof and self absorbed like me constantly trying to entertain him on the phone only to get nonchalant answers, him saying he'd call me and then leave me waiting for hours (we talked about this and he apologized, though it still happens occasionally) and how I dote on him, check if his finances are good and how he's feeling every day, asking what I can do better in the relationship and it honestly feel like he doesn't reciprocate. Never seen him go the extra mile. If I ever dare to (in his head) imply that I wanna leave or having second thoughts, he goes into a panick.
I bought his gift and bought two boxes of pizza for him and his friends along with drinks, but we ended up eating it alone. He was excited at first as he loves pizza ,only took one slice and said he didn't want anymore and that his "body just doesn't want much sometimes" so I felt it was kind of a waste. Then I asked him how his finances are since he quit his job recently as they were not treating him well over there after an incident and he wasn't getting many hours. He didn't have another paycheck till the following week. I ask him how he'll pay for his dinner and things like that and he said he'll handle it. At this point I'm thinking he'll be okay. He asks me for nothing at Disney springs( I would've been glad to bye something) , but I still share some of my stuff with him. I think at the point where he said he didn't have much money I should've offered to buy at least one thing but I'm not sure.
Fast forward the next day, we go out to eat, his friends pay for his food, they even get him a drink at sugar factory to share and he got his own desert. Once again I offer him some of mine then he says no. I then find out that they take pictures and there was a really nice one of us they took and in a nice thick frame, they were pretty expensive but it was fine. I bought one right away for him to have. At this point the music and people around was getting overwhelming, only the 3 of them were engaging conversation (I was leading the conversation all the places prior and my social battery was out, but tell me of this was rude too.) Noone was talking to me so I played music on my head phones and put my head down, but I was sure to watch and out my phone up and see and cheer with everyone else my boy friend dance when it was his time shine and celebrate.
We go to the bathroom together and he asks why I wasn't talking to anyone and I say I have nothing to sa y. He says that his friends worry I don't like them which Is not true, I do. I was even organized little games for us to on the road and in the restaurant (like would you rather)
He leaves that night but I just found out that he feels I should've asked him if he wanted anything from Disney Springs and that he shouldn't have to ask. I was apologizing throughout the conversation, but I couldn't help but feel that I was again giving too much and he conceded nothing, no apologies or anything. He says that that drink I bought should have been for or there should've been two drinks on the table and I should have asked him what he wanted, even though he said nothing and I've been spending my money on him regardless outside of Disney Springs and I offered to share my drink with him. And I can't read minds, so that of he wanted something extra on top of what I was already getting him, it would not hurt to just open his mouth. I told him that I understand but if we keep fight about the same things and i keep feeling like I'm underappreciated that I'm not afraid to be single again. He flies into a panick and begins cursing and things like that, he says that I never admit when I'm wrong and when I do it's when he's crying or it isn't genuine from me. ( In the beginning of the relationship,I admitted to him I wasn't prideful bc I was tired of being hurt, but I've overcome that to apologize to him) He denied not going the extra mile and that he cared. I never got an apology from even though I conceded to different things.
We ended that conversation and I cannot help but feel that it was a red flag that he apologize for nothing like the mixed signals, him not saying anything and me expecting him to read his mind. Should I have gotten him something from DS like I said or no and WITA?
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