TW SELF HARM MENTIONS OF SUICIDE So this happened a few months ago, but it’s been weighing on my mind, and I’d just like some unbiased opinions.

So for some context, I (21F) was friends with this girl B (20F) for almost a year before we started having problems, and was very generous throughout it, buying her things just cause I thought she would like them, sharing food and weed and everything. I introduced her to her current boyfriend, who I have been friends with since we were basically kids, and I helped look after her when shit hit the fan and she wasn’t doing okay.

Earlier in the year things went south for me. I lost my partner, my job, and was then a victim of a home invasion. They broke in and stole some stuff, I woke up halfway through to someone standing at the end of my bed, who then kicked me in the head and grabbed my phone. Needless to say, I was very not okay. Over the next few months my mental health declined, with multiple hospital trips for self harm and suicide attempts. During this time B was being very kind, helping me with food and other things as I was still unemployed. However, she brought up the fact that she thought I wasn’t grateful for everything she was doing, and that I hadn’t thanked her for what she did. After she brought that up I paid specific attention and made sure to thank her before, during, and after when she would do something for me. (This included driving me home from hospital, and when she offered to buy food for me)

As the weeks passed I was hearing from them less and less (as I was still friends with the boyfriend) and I reached out asking if they could keep more in touch, as I was the only one organising or wanting to hang out. I said that I felt like I was putting all the effort in and would appreciate it if they could message a little more.

B went nuts, saying that I was being selfish, that anytime we would hang out I would only take from them and didn’t give anything in return, that friendships are a two way street and that I don’t thank her for everything she does. She then brought up almost every instant that she helped me, claiming I didn’t thank her for any of it (even though I made sure I did after our previous conversation) She basically weaponised her kindness. B said that I should come back when I was more grateful, then maybe they will want to hang out with me.

I was obviously upset and left the group chat, B then messaged me privately asking if I “wanted to talk like adults”, I responded saying that I think I deserve an apology for getting yelled at for things I didn’t do (being ungrateful) and that the only reason I wasnt “giving back” was because I was broke, and literally couldn’t afford my bills. She left me on read for days so I blocked her and let her go.

Boyfriend didn’t say anything about anything because he didn’t want to get between us, but low key sided with B even though he didn’t agree with her, so I kinda lost him too.

My one other friend thinks I was right, and that B was only friends with me cause I could do things for her, and that once I was the one in need I was no longer useful. I still feel bad about everything though, and kinda feel like it’s still my fault. So am I the asshole for not giving back enough?