Me (31), my fiancee (35) my best friend (32) and her Brother (28) have been planning for there months a short vacation (5 days including travel) at the start of September. Me and my fiancee have been together 9 years.

My partner Is a freelance and has trouble with taking time off work when it flows in since they don't know when more will come, and they've had some huge opportunities coming.

Plus he's had a really bad toothache so he has to get a brief removal done right after the planned holiday.

Part of the vacation is supposed to be a visit to a Museum in a city we'll be visiting that was my best friend and her brother birthday gift for him this year. The ticket can be booked any time.

But he's been feeling really pressured to go because of it, though he's really tempted to just stay home and work because he's really tired and overworked already and he's afraid if he compresses his schedule further he'll just be more stressed.

I suggested if he wants to get some work done in the evenings on holiday and he blew up at me because he's told me in the past for him there's no point to going if he has to work there, which is fair. He kept hinting that we should reschedule 3 months later or so.

So I told him he's free to go or not to go, but we'll go regardless, me and my best friend haven't seen each other since May (we live in different cities) and we can afford to split three-ways.

He's super offended that we're going, I specified that of course we won't go to the Museum that's supposed to be his gift and if he wants to go in 3 months we'll go in 3 months.

The city we'll visit Is a 2 hour train ride away so it's not at all an issue for us to visit again so soon. But he's acting like it's ridiculous to suggest that we go again and he said stuff like 'so the Museum was just a trick to compel me to go' to which I said there's no need to compel, it's just people who love him who want to vacation with him, but he shouldn't feel pressured and if he doesn't want to go that's fine too. It just seems unreasonable for me that he's offended we're still planning to go.

Am I the asshole for this? It's very exhausting and confusing and It seems whatever I say is the wrong thing.

[Edit] Just to clarify he said he's more sad than offended, because he thought the point of the trip was his birthday gift Museum visit and he feels like we don't even care if he comes or not. Also, we have made no non-refundable expenses yet except the train ticket for me and him, and me and my friends are also freelance so rescheduling in early 2024 probably would be possible.