This happened a couple years ago but it still bothers me so I’d like to know what y’all think.

I (28F at the time) had a close friend (27M at the time) who I’d known for years, been through good times and bad together, knew each other’s secrets, etc. When this happened, he was going through a hard time, through no fault of his own, and despite being highly educated ended up having to temporarily move back in with his parents (who he didn’t have the best relationship with) and take a job at Walmart. Not an ideal situation, and he wasn’t thrilled about it, but from my perspective, it was a shitty situation but in no way shameful. I knew he wasn’t happy with it but he never asked me to keep it a secret or anything.

I saw some mutual friends at a wedding during this time. He wasn’t able to attend, and the mutual friends said to me that they had lost touch and hadn’t heard from him in awhile but missed him, and they asked me what he was up to, how he was doing, etc.

I told them without a ton of details that he’d had some shitty circumstances outside his control and had to move back in with his parents in Texas, but had plans to move out soon and was excited about that, and was temporarily working at Walmart while looking for a new job in his field. They didn’t think it was that big a deal or anything, this was a fairly short conversation with them saying they hoped he’d find a new job soon and wished him well.

Well, he found out what I had said and was FURIOUS. Said all of that was a shameful secret and I should have known better than to spread it around. Blew up at me, said I embarrassed him on purpose, would not believe I genuinely didn’t think there was anything embarrassing about it. I apologized profusely, assured him it was unintentional and wouldn’t happen again. This conversation ended with him telling me he never wanted to speak to me again and blocking me on everything. This was four years ago and he has stuck to it. About a year after the fact, I did send him a letter saying if he ever changed his mind I’d still be around and I really missed having him in my life. No response and I didn’t try again.

I’m still sad when I think about it but mostly I’ve moved on and just hope he’s happy now. But sometimes I do still have the nagging feeling that maybe something about was actually an egregious unforgivable offense in a way I don’t understand.

If that’s the case, I would really like to understand where I went wrong and why so I don’t accidentally do it again to someone else.

So, Reddit - AITAH?