I (NDX) have a lifelong physical disability where I need 24/7 caregivers. This is nothing new and my wife (DX) hasn't known me any other way; she also hasn't looked at me in a burdensome way, ever.

Prior to her starting to work as a Registered Nurse 2.5 years ago, she longed for our alone time together. (Keep in mind we don't get much because of the caregivers.) Since two years ago, she requested to care for me Saturdays and Sundays 8a-8p to ensure we have alone time together.

In the past year, I have had a very difficult time getting her to stop scrolling and attend to my needs such as getting dressed, going to the bathroom, etc. It goes like this: I'll ask, she ignores, I ask again, she says "huh?" and goes back to her phone, I then generally get a tone and ask a third time and she will then do it with annoyance. We generally have the discussion once per week that she doesn't have to care for me on the weekend and she will say she wants to every time. I'm trying to keep in mind that it's not her that is causing the situation we're in, but rather the ADHD.

I've offered that she can quit her job if it's too much for her. I make more than her at my job as a Clinical Director for a nonprofit and I already pay all the bills except groceries. She says she wants to but needs it for insurance and to pay for groceries.

I honestly feel like I am stuck and I am trying not to become resentful, but the struggle is real.