My wife is always saying that she is undiagnosed ADHD. Sharing to see if this story resonates and if people think it points towards that.

This is the busy and stressful time for my profession, and while a lot of the work I do this time of year is not paid on top of my salary, it's important to attend meetings, networking events, etc.

In the last few months I had skipped 2 work related meetings with a local group but wanted to make one with this group tonight, some important professional contacts were going to be there, and I was asked to give brief remarks.

My wife had to go into the office today though. Usually, we like to drive into the city, and do some dinner and drinks to avoid the rush hour traffic home. It being Halloween season, my wife had wanted to attend a horror movie event at a favorite cocktail bar.

We had discussed my attending this meeting a few days ago, and agreed that we would go into the city, but drive home right away so I could attend this meeting.

But all day today she insulted me, yelled at me, said I was ruining Halloween, said this showed how much I hated her, said that it showed how much I disrespected her, how much she hates me, and so on.

I would have preferred to go and have fun, but I also know that if we did, she would have had 6-8 drinks and not been interested in intimacy. Now she's spent all day yelling at me, and I'm not interested in intimacy.

It feels like a double standard. There have been times when I don't do something I would like to accommodate her work schedule, often even events that don't pay extra. I don't throw a tantrum, because relationships are supposed to be about working things out.

I don't always live up to her expectations, and she doesn't always live up to mine, but the difference is, when I don't live up to her expectations, she yells, insults me, threatens to leave me, destroy my stuff, 'make your life a living hell', brings up past times I didn't do something just the way she wanted, wishes she was dead, etc. But when she doesn't live up to mine, I just kind of go on with my day.

Part of me wonders - was she so upset because her schedule / routine was thrown off and her undiagnosed ADHD kicked in?