i had to send in a form to uni that would maybe help my grades and i was already late turning it in but the lady said just turn it into the committee anyways and they might decline or approve but usually because of late timing they decline it. i should have turned it in late about 5 weeks ago. and i had every document i needed to turn it in but i didn't. my mom asked me about it and i told her i didn't turn it in and she said kept exclaiming "woooowwww" "woooow" "you had everything you needed!" and further letting me know her disappointment. i already am disappointed in myself so hearing words from others makes me feel so guilty. i feel so much guilt because why do i do this? why can't i just get my life in order. i can't even log into canvas or emails. surfing and learning random info takes up my time because i'm so nervous to check anything. i know i can be better and i want to be. i'm so sad. and i wish i could have someone next to me while i check my email for that first initial time but once i get into that groove then i'm okay with checking. it's just once i get into that ignoring groove then i feel so scared. i was doing okay just a week ago i had checked then i got back into not checking because i was scared of the replies. sigh I SUCKKK SO BAD