TL;DR Diagnosed at 25, had symptoms my whole life but my parents wouldnt treat or acknowledge it because they didnt believe in it or medication. Because of my upbringing I have had fear of what medication might do to me. Now 29, havent had steady work for over a year, moved away from Canada to Scotland about 4 months ago, I have an appointment with a GP next week, Im going in with my assessment paperwork. Im scared and dont know what to expect.

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In 2016 when I was 25, I was diagnosed with ADHD. I had always kind of known I had it (more on that in a bit) but got referred for an assessment by my university so that I would be eligible for alternative accommodations during exams (separate room, headphones, more time). I had some of those accommodations in highschool so I knew they would help me.

At the time of the assessment, I was going through a lot of things in my life. Relationship of 5 years was falling apart (broke up 3 months later), starting university, quit my job, a slew of family issues and I was drinking a lot. I could not fathom taking on another responsibility like getting treatment, my life felt like a house of cards and that it was going to fall apart if my balancing act was disrupted at all, and I had been fed a lot of misinformation about medication my entire life.

When I was growing up I was frequently put through different tests and assessments because of my learning and behavioral issues. I remember talk of ADHD, and am fairly certain I was diagnosed at a very young age, but that my mom refused to treat it, I know she talked about it not really being a thing. She had me take omega-3 oils, and told me they would help with my concentration. It was a very "alternative" medicine household, we didnt go to the doctor and we didnt take pills. This has contributed to my apprehension of going for treatment, if it was for my girlfriend being supportive I wouldn't be going.

Now that Ive been reading about ADHD more, my life makes so much more sense. Everyday has been a struggle for as long as I can remember, I struggle to start tasks anywhere in my life. I work in a very high stress detail oriented industry, I help produce events and festivals and somehow I am good at it (I think), but I literally stay up working on things all night because I can only focus for a few minutes at a time. Its a constant battle to just get words on paper. And now Im going on about a year without meaningful employment (a few contracts here and there), I can hardly write 1 cover letter a day.

Im now 29, am trying to live a healthier life, and recently I moved from Canada to Scotland. I needed out of my environment and its helped bring some clarity to my life. Next week I have an appointment with a GP, I have my paperwork from my assessment that talks about my ADHD, but I have no idea what to expect or what to say when Im there. I dont know what the options are, Im scared I will be dismissed, Im scared I will forget what to say, I just want help.