About a month ago I got my dream job working as a 911 operator. This may seem small but it is always something I have wanted to do. I work in a really small center. There are 4 of us for the entire county. I train closely with my coworkers who have very high standards and want me to be just as good as them. A few weeks ago they asked if I had a learning disorder because " we don't hire people with a learning disorder anymore" I said no. She is only my trainer. The people that hired me never asked this question and quite frankly I feel like it is none of her business. Now training here is short. I should be mostly trained in about 2 months ( for a large center it would be about 6). While I pick up somethings fast, other things I lack. This is where this stupid fucking disability come in. I can't remember shit. They will tell me what to say and the moment it comes time to say it my mind goes blank. They will give me instructions on what not to do, I immediately do that thing again the next time. I write everything down, I take detailed notes. I am working my ass off, but this stupid fucking brain takes 3-5 business days to store it. My co-workers get very angry with me, which makes me cry almost instantly. I don't know why I jump to crying so fast. She keeps asking why I can't remember things or why I have to be told things more than once, I can't tell her. I can't own up to it now. For one thing I lied to her. Second I don't want these people writing off everything I do as part of my ADD. I'm really stuck. I have crazy anxiety from this job now. I can't sleep anymore. I am going to a therapist and she is helping me but I just needed to get this off my chest. I hate my brain.

TLDR ; got my dream job, ADD is preventing me from learning it well, now I have anxiety.