Today, I turned 35 and I realized I have not yet knowingly met another "inattentive type."

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Don't get me wrong.. I love my extroverted ADHD brothers and sisters. I've never met someone with ADHD that I didn't like. But, I feel lonely in my symptoms.

There is so much i'd like to know about you. So, i'll start off by telling my trials and tribulations.

It's always been apparent to everyone but me, that I am different. I was a very shy and emotional kid. I was terrible at sports.. played right-field and was a total embarrassment for our undefeated baseball team and my father alike. My parents refused to put me on medication because they "liked the way I think." As far as I know, ADHD medication doesn't work on our sub-type anyway. The teachers stopped insisting on medication after I won 1st place on a school poem competition. I didn't really have any friends in elementary and played by myself, as far away from the other kids as I could get. Was pulled out of class occasionally for speech therapy to learn to pronounce my "r"'s (I had no idea people curled their tongue when pronouncing that letter).

Middle school I was teased relentlessly. ..I'd like to skip past that part of my story and never think of it again. I could not stay awake in high-school during class. I failed my easy classes and received A's in the hardest classes the school had to offer. I found that my peers accepted me if I acted like an outcast/criminal/misfit. I got arrested at the homecoming in front of my school and that solidified my reputation. Despite my two alarm clocks, I had a difficult time waking up in time for school and would have to walk and get there half-way through the day. I graduated high school with somewhere around a 1.0 GPA.

I joined the Air Force National Guard as an electrician, where I felt like an embarrassment. They took me on a training deployment before basic training. I asked my master sgt. what I needed to bring.. she said "just the clothes on your back." I thought they were going to provide me a uniform. So, I only brought, literally the clothes on my back... for this week-long deployment. ...and I was wearing huge cuffed raver pants. ...on a military base for a week ..::facepalm::.. Climbing utility poles and running an obstacle course with a group of people in full battle dress uniforms. They had pictures of me on the wall for years. I was considered an odd-duck after that.

I wanted to go to college, and that was a struggle. I had to basically start over from the beginning. I couldn't even recall how to do long division. I found that any accommodations for ADHD students are terrible, and the professors don't care about your disability and resent you for asking for accommodations. My ambitions were high, a BS in Engineering. I struggled a lot with Calculus. Essays would take me forever to write. It was sometimes hard not to fall asleep driving to school.. I would just barely make it to the parking-lot.. set an alarm for 10 - 15 minutes and then immediately pass out in my car. I worked relentlessly hard but it always seemed like the things I was studying was different than what was on the exam. Soo.. many exams. Most of which were a total heart-break. But, I graduated!

I work for a startup company now as a product designer. But, even though I love my job, I still find being at work under-stimulating and miserable. I am hoping someone out there can relate to that. I enjoy working from home around my cats <3.

Other things about me are that I lose anything that i'm not physically holding. I start day-dreaming when people are talking to me. I day-dream a lot in general and almost uncontrollably. I can't really follow along if you are mono-logging. I seem to need to always be doing something to stay stimulated or i'll get really bored or fall asleep. Low doses of Ritalin helped me for a little while, but then lost effectiveness after about a year. Caffeine puts me to sleep hardcore. Sometimes I fall asleep playing video games. I can't use nicotine products without habitually using it all-day. And, my memory recall is worthless.

I internalize everything.. everything is my fault. I don't dwell on that much anymore, I just try to do better :).

Okay. Sorry about the novel. This is literally the short version. My life has been a lot more fun than I made it seem. But, I wanted to focus on the areas that I think may relate to my ADHD. Anyway, i'd like to hear if any of this hits home with my fellow "winnie the pooh" type dreamers.

tl;dr: hey, look a squirrel!