Before I start: of course I will bring all of this up with a professional. My next psych appointment is in two weeks. Just wondering, in the meantime, if anyone can relate to the following / can verify that Adderall might be contributing to these feelings, or if it's just a coincidence and my mental health is deteriorating on its own because of other things. Really hoping it's the Adderall tbh.

I've been prescribed Adderall XR for years now but I'm the worst at taking it. For the last month or so I've managed to take it almost every day - which is the most consistent I've ever been - and I'm starting to notice that in the evenings, around the time I'd expect it to wear off, I'm experiencing really intense sadness. Like go-to-bed-at-6-PM-and-skip-dinner-because-I-don't-have-the-energy-to-talk-to-my-parents sadness. I have a pretty good relationship with my parents, the problem isn't anything to do with them/us. I just have no desire to get out of bed, let alone put on a happy face and socialize.

This is not clinical depression - the feelings show up at night like clockwork and are usually gone in the morning. My suspicion is that it's a chemical thing, like as the Adderall wears off, my dopamine levels drop all of a sudden and I feel like shit? Is that a thing that happens? I say the feelings are "usually" gone in the morning because if I let my negative thoughts really spiral out of control in the evening, then I sometimes wake up still believing them, even though the initial trigger is no longer there.

Maybe this has nothing to do with Adderall. My mental health is already precarious. It's Winter, and I'm unemployed; I sleep in too much and don't leave the house enough. I do usually get a little down this time of year, but never like this, and it just seems like it happens so predictably around the time when I'd expect the Adderall to wear off. Combined with everything else, I worry that if I don't get this under control and the negative thoughts keep carrying over, then it will turn into actual clinical depression.

I can't even stick to a routine well enough to keep my ADHD under control (vicious cycle, right?), so I don't really have faith in my ability to keep this from getting worse by myself. What does help is that several times a week my boyfriend comes over. I still notice negative thoughts and feelings on those nights, but because he's there I spend time with him rather than just like going to bed and sitting alone in the dark for hours and letting my thoughts spiral completely out of control. I know when he's not there I am still capable of making good decisions to prevent myself from losing control - but I don't. I let it happen. I skip dinner and go sit alone in the dark, knowing that I'm enabling my mood to get worse and worse. My boyfriend will text me and send silly faces on snapchat, and I ignore them as if I prefer feeling miserable and alone. It's infuriating to the rational part of my brain, but the rational part of my brain doesn't get any say in it. When these feelings come up, my rational brain gets completely drowned out and I have no idea how to put it back in charge.

I can see how this might sound like I don't have ADHD and I'm addicted to Adderall. To clarify, I do not feel euphoric from the dopamine boost while Adderall is in my system. It's not that when it wears off I "return to normal" but normal feels like shit in comparison and isn't good enough anymore. I have only ever felt "normal" with Adderall in my system. My mood during the day is normal. I have a normal amount of willpower. I get a normal amount of work done. Adderall makes me feel and behave like a "normal" (neurotypical) human being. Until it wears off, and then my mood goes sharply downhill.

So tl;dr, Have been taking Adderall XR 25mg consistently for about a month now (was taking it semi-regularly in early October, but almost every day for the past four weeks). Started noticing a trend of inexplicable sadness around the beginning of November and it's been pretty consistent since. Feelings always appearing in the evening around the time my Adderall would wear off. Is this a coincidence, or has anyone else experienced something similar? And if you have, have you found success in switching ADHD medications, or by adding another medication, or supplement to your diet? Based on past experience I really don't have faith in myself to keep these feelings under control with good habits and routine... I'd rather prevent them in the first place rather than try to live around them, especially if they're just the side effect of a drug.

Thanks in advance friends!