Hello, I have been recently diagnosed with ADHD and my therapist recommended to my GP a 30 mg dosage. The general practitioner prescribed me 20 mg caps, it was an absolutely mind boggling experience having everything really connect together the way it suddenly does, regardless of how sensitive to the side effects I was for the first week and that 20 mg was obviously not enough and somewhat upset my therapist being disregarded. Not to mention that due to the abnormality of a 20 mg dosage the copay was 185 dollars, while any other dosage is 30-40$.

Finally after a month I ran out and wasn't represcribed more for a week due to technical glitches, there after my dosage was corrected to 30 mgs and after the initial first week of unpleasantness(I don't eat much or sleep much) reacclimating to it, oh boy. It must've took that time to really get used to the way my body processed it or whatever, all I know is that after about a week and a half, but finally I woke up one day(I take them at 6 am and go back to sleep) and the world was different. I saw all the bad habits in my life for what they were, had the capacity to break them, felt driven to fill the holes left by "failing habits" with new progress. Most of all the horrible near physical pain, reminiscent of my soul on a burning cheese grater, that accompanied forcing myself to do unpleasant tasks that I had learned to cope with but still found miserable, had vanished. I was free to take any action I pleased.

That went on for about two weeks or so, but eventually I felt brain fog returning, I found myself procrastinating unconsciously, the cheese grater feeling returned, as well the sensation of stimulus other than whatever my focus may be having "hooks" in my mind, all that returned to a moderate extent but still if there is a life without that kind of unpleasant factors, I will take that one.

I spoke to my therapist about worries regarding a building tolerance and he recommended I checked in with my GP about how the meds are and if I would like to increase them. My GP is a great guy, a family friend, and at one point was my boyscout leader when I was much younger. He is however a very religious man. Not to say that I am not but ehhh, it was odd. He told me about the way that "God made me the way I am with ADHD for a reason." as well as that I will only need to be on Vyvanse for a limited time before my mind "learns" the right way to behave and I no longer needed it. He used the metaphors of optical glasses, that they are a lens that you look though much like the vyvanse and that after looking through that lens enough I would no longer need it because I would "know" the way that's "right". I wanted to ask him when he would start "knowing" the world well enough to stop wearing his glasses but I didn't want to piss him off by destroying his nonsensical metaphor.

I told him though that my tolerance had gone up and that the 30 mg caps were no longer doing what I needed. He immediately upped the dosage but said "let's not make a habit of it" and bumped it up to 40. That's where the paranoia is. The obsession with the numbering of dosage so far above the interest in how I feel is disconcerting. No other medication I have ever been on is as unpleasant in doctors dealings than this. Is this just because it's a schedule two drug? Every medication I have been on has been increased to the dosage necessary, sometimes even waiting for my tolerance to develop so I could be moved to the appropriate dosage. "Let's not make a habit of it." What the fuck is that? I have absolutely no control over the way my body responds to medication... Forty milligrams wasn't even the necessary amount to manage my symptoms the first day I was on it, but I really didn't know what to do because he is just so weird about upping it.

It's just nerve wracking escaping from the effects of ADHD and then being told that I should control how my body works by someone clearly biased against treatment on religious grounds.

TL;DR: What appears to be a misunderstanding of the nature of tolerance and a general way of looking at treatment from my general practitioner are making me very uncomfortable.