Does anyone have a similar experience? And can you share any resources to help manage this?

I'm undiagnosed, female, 40 years old.

This particular trait is that I'm aware of what needs to be done and seemingly have an aversion to doing it. I'm self-employed and need to do certain things to revive my business and feel like something within me just refuses. Is it executive function based? Do I need to just be more disciplined? I feel like someone has ordered me to do these things and I'm almost rebelling at that order - except that it's my choice and passion and I'm dragging my feet/ruining it.

I know that fear of being seen and perfectionism are also at play. I also know that I need to pursue a diagnosis - which I will do, when I have the funds to go private. In the meantime, I need to try to manage this as best I can and would really appreciate any tips, advice, resources, and even something to help me understand this trait and its potential root. Thanks.