Under a month ago, I was facing an upcoming test. I purposefully calculated the time necessary to spend studying to do well on this test, and woke up early to ensure I have this time. All was on track.

Shortly after breakfast, I decided to play some videogames. In this game there exist daily quests one must do so my mind justified hopping on and I knew the stray thought wouldn't go easily. After doing daily quests, I looked at the time, and realized "you know what, that time calculation was a fair bit conservative, I'm pretty smart, I can give myself more time".

And so I did. What meant to be 1.5 hours spent between waking and working turned into 3, and eventually more. I kept looking at the clock over and over. "4 hours left? that's plenty of time. 3? still a ton. 1 hour? ill probably do just fine reading a crash course".

It was when I hit 30 minutes that I became aware of the dynamic going on. At the back of my mind, I was distinctly aware of the thought that my time is running out, that this is wrong, that I'll get bad results. However this thought felt neutral, like glass. My game, on the other hand, felt sweet. Literally sweet. Like my brain felt similar to how it might when you eat sugar. Damn near low-tier euphoric. It just felt so damn good. And then it hit me, this damn game felt more fun when I was walking the edge of time, when I was running out and something was coming up.

What the hell?!? Who the hell designed me this way?!?