I was diagnosed with ADHD in the second grade, and from then on, I have had chronic issues with procrastination. I cannot focus on anything until the very last moment. No amount of psychological interventions, music, stimulants, medications, etc., will help. I am not a lazy person; I can't force myself to sit for prolonged periods of time and just focus. I have had many panic attacks over the years, sitting in front of a computer screen, mulling over my inability to focus on things early. Then, at the very last moment, I had perfect focus and produced perfect-score master's papers. I regret to say that after 30 years of this torment, I have finally come to realize that my brain cannot and will not work like other people's brains. The idea of just sitting down and focusing on something is foreign to me. I will never understand that feeling, and that's a good thing. I have an innate ability to go into creative bouts that bring about brilliance. I understand that some people have consistent focus; I have short bursts. You cannot impose consistency on an intermittent system. My proclivity to procrastinate is not a bad thing. It is in line with the way that my brain works. Society has created this narrative that procrastinators are lazy people who hold progress back. That isn't true. my ADHD does not hold me back. Trying to reform my thinking to other people's way of thinking or focusing holds me back.

My biggest question is: Has your ADHD held you back? Or has the idea that you must sit down and focus "like the others" held you back? Knowing your limitations is power. Knowing your strengths is wisdom. Do not get caught up in what you can't do. Instead, march to the beat of your own drum. Wait until you get those short bursts of creative insanity.

From now on, march in tune with my mind's beat. I cannot focus consistently, but the brilliance that peaks through the clouds periodically is more than sufficient for my life purposes.

EDIT: Grammar.