I have been formally diagnosed as an adult. I did have effective treatment with low dose stimulants.

Then I was forced to change psychiatrists.

I thought, and was clearly mistaken, that the best communication was direct. “I was on xyz stimulant and it was most effective. I would like to be on xyz stimulant.”

Apparently, this means I’m “drug seeking”. They flat out declined treatment with stimulants due to “the impacts on the heart” even though I don’t have heart issues.

First they put me on a low dose non-stimulant, helpful but not fully effective. Then they increased it, helpful but not fully effective. At this point, 6 months into treatment at the time, my life was crumbling I was clinging to excessive routine to keep grasp on being functional. Every hour of my day was scheduled, planned, and the same. I could not deviate from the schedule at all or everything fell apart.

Several crisis beyond my control resulted in sufficient deviation from the routine and no surprise, my life is in shreds mentally, emotionally, and physically.

I’m finding a new psychiatrist. My fear is repeating the same cycle. I don’t want to be on stimulants. I need to be on them to function. With them I can actually use all the coping skills I know. I don’t abuse them in any way, I don’t need a high dose. I don’t generally develop tolerance to medications easily. (Usually takes 5 years with antidepressants).

I just need help.

I’m afraid my desperation will come off as “addict”.

TLDR; How can I best advocate for what I know to be effective treatment without making it seem like I’m an addict?