Hey all!

I'm new to the sub. I've been reading a lot about how well the medication has been working for everyone, and that makes me want to ask this question to the aether. So here goes.

I've been diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago during my masters, even though everyone already 'knew' since I was 5; my mom just didn't want to have me tested, because she didn't want me on medication. Now I do have medication, but I generally only take it maybe 3-5 times a month because I don't love the way it makes me feel. Yes, it makes me focused and productive, but I also feel like it dampens my fun and creative side. I'm on 10 mg methylphenidate, which I'm allowed to take 2-3 times a day. For the record, I'm 27m, 6'3'' and ~200 lbs.

A little while ago I took it at night because I had some deadline, and I ended up having crazy heart palpitations. It really scared me. It stopped me from taking it for about 3 months, because I was scared of having them again. Now I have a major deadline Sunday, so I've been taking them again off-and-on for the past 2 weeks. But every single time, about 30-60 minutes after taking my meds, I get a crazy bout of anxiety. Like my body is scared of the medication.

Have any of you felt this way before? And if so, do you have tips on how to deal with it?