Why oh why doesn’t a budget stick with me?! I feel like such a failure when it comes to “adulting” and living away from family. You’d think that by living in my apartment I’d finally -FINALLY- get my spending habits under control. But noooooo, I still have my credit card number memorized and think I still need 10 of one thing and there’s a Daiso just DOWN THE ROAD instead of two cities north of me and I have loans to pay off from all the other spending I did prior to moving out.

I’m trying. I’m trying! I hate money! I hate working! I just want to make art and enjoy my life! I can’t take any ADHD meds because of my high blood pressure (thanks mom and dad for that one! T____T) and I have a myriad of other medical conditions to boot! Sometimes I just want to quit you know? I’ve been masking and dealing with so much.

Have any of you figured out the trick to it all? Do I really need to just go all out cold turkey and do one final consolidation and close up shop? Never pay for anything else but with cold hard greens? I’ve been up for 3 hours stressing about money and bills. I wish my brain and emotions weren’t like this T____T