I’m 18m, lying in bed. It’s 1:30am and I’m really stressed.

Im autistic, have panic attacks, and depression.

My friends have just left for uni, and I miss them a lot.

I just want to move out, and actually do something with my life, but everything is so difficult. I’ve had these shitty stomach problems for the last 5 MONTHS. I have a fear of throwing up, and I’ve been told it’s just stress. I feel nauseous all the time, eat only like 600kcal a day.

I have depression.

I’m seeing a therapist, who’s helping me with things. She says I repress my emotions too much, and have a lot of trauma I’m trying to sweep under the rug. She also helped me accept that I had an awful childhood and my home was abusive.

I miss my friends so much. I’m sick of everyday being the same.

Being autistic makes work so fucking tough. I get burnt out after a day or two and find it too overwhelming, have a breakdown, then shutdown.

I’m trying to find work because I struggle to much with education. My therapist thinks I have ADHD but it’ll take so long to get medicated it doesn’t matter.

I feel like a useless failure. I’m barely surviving. I miss my friends. My stomach hurts and I feel sick. I feel like a scared little kid with no one. I’ve got no family to love. I just want to be someone. Im gonna go to the doctor asap because I think there’s something really wrong with my stomach. I’m miserable and scared 24/7. No one listens.