Omg a list. My husband is like "but I put it on the list, why didn't you get it while you were at the store?!!!"

I'm like...a list. A list is your failsafe plan? Are you fucking with me?

Do you have any idea how many failure points there are in a LIST? To use a list, I have to:

• Remember to bring the list
• Remember to take it out of the car and into the store
• Remember to take it out of my pocket and look at it
• Remember to check off items as I go
• Remember to check the list at the end of the trip and make sure I didn't miss anything
• Accurately evaluate whether I've missed something on the list and go back to get it if I didn't
• Then check the list again to make sure I have everything now

I'm not saying I can't do it. I have done it, many times. But I'm also like...that shit is not going to be a 100% success rate. There are too many failure points. Even if I'm repeating the sentence in my brain, "Don't forget the list, goddamn it!" the entire time ... sometimes I'm going to get snagged on one of these failure points.

My husband is starting to understand this. But he used to get so mad.

I'm like, I have a 50% success rate with this ninja warrior fucking obstacle course of shopping with a list, that's good. You're welcome. And guess what? If I forget something on the list, I'll just go back to the goddamn store. Everyone will survive.