I’ve been with him for almost 4 years. I love him more than anything but I struggle to understand how his brain works. He isn’t the best when it comes to explaining how he feels so I’m hoping someone can help me see things from his perspective.

My boyfriend is constantly afraid of me leaving him. Sometimes he lies about small stuff because he’s afraid that I’ll leave him if I know the truth. He struggles to open up about anything because he’s afraid that I’m going to get upset and leave him. He always takes the blame for any issue in our relationship and says “I just have to be better” and then refuses any further conversation about it. If I ask him how he feels about something he says “I don’t know.”

I’m the type of person who needs verbal affirmation in a relationship and he is TERRIBLE at remembering to do that. When I ask him what I can do to help him he goes “I don’t know, I just think it in my head but I don’t say it out loud. I don’t want to annoy you.”

I want to know what I can do to help him feel safe being more emotional with me. I want to understand his brain. I want to know what I can do or say to help him. Any thoughts?

tl;dr: My boyfriends RSD makes it hard for him to open up. How can I help?