Hi all,

I’ve worked a government admin job for the past year and a half and it’s not ever demanded an awful lot of output. I know should’ve used this flexibility to do creative stuff, learn a language etc but I guess I would just procrastinate doing the actual work that I never managed to (plus, adhd lol) and I’m always so overwhelmed with all the stuff I WANT to do so I never do anything at all, and just scroll on tiktok.

I’m now beating myself up and regretting the lack of self-will on my end to do all the side hustle stuff so I could escape the job, but instead I got complacent. And now my role at work has changed which means a lot more emails, a lot more having to check through data, write up reports etc. And I just DON’T CARE!!!!! I don’t want to do it anymore. I’ve finally hit the wall where doing work feels like pulling teeth. I know it’s technically easy, and I should be grateful that my team are so nice and it’s work from home. But I can’t help feel like I just want a job where I have to leave my home, so that when I actually come home I can fully focus on the creative stuff I want to do (not sure if this is a false belief as really, will a new job change it all lol?)

However I feel like I can’t make the leap to anything else as I’ve had constant job rejections all year. I told myself I’d stay til March next year but that fills me with dread :(

I guess what I’m asking for is insight from anyone who’s been in a similar predicament - what you did, any advice, regrets, insight?

(Currently unmedicated and not officially diagnosed because UK healthcare is abysmal, but have demonstrated clear signs ever since childhood and had many teachers comment on it)

Thanks so much for reading x