Why can’t I get myself to work on my novel? Every time I get myself to sit down and work, I just CAN’T, I CAN’T get myself to move and make the people in my head go onto the page.

I’m doomed.

I took a break and was on Reddit, I’m trying to read something, I’m reading the words I see, but they aren’t processing in my brain. I don’t understand what that very perfect English and grammar mean. It’s like trying to read a foreign language. IDK what it says. My brain can’t process it.

Why am I like this? Why can’t I just not have mental illnesses, especially OCD (and sorta whatever makes it hard for me to read and process words).

Am I just tired? I don’t feel tired. I don’t know what’s happening to me.

I’m so stressed out. I’m so irritated that it’s making me anxious and antsy. I hate feeling like this. It feels like I’m going to explode if I don’t MOVE! But it’s late at night right now (I’m practically nocturnal at this point) so I can’t just go outside and take a nice walk, or run.

What is wrong with me and will it ever stop? My therapist says to just ignore it and live my life, BUT I CAN’T LIVE MY LIFE BECAUSE IT’S MAKING IT SO HARD TO BE NORMAL!!! I’m in so much mental distress right now! I’ve practically chewed off all the skin on the inside of my mouth now. I even tasted blood at one point.