I have no idea if this is a sign or a hyperfixation or an obsessive thought? Id like to hear someone else thoughts. For context im a month shy of 33. Even since I was 17/18 I've always thought about living in chicago. I am not excatly sure as to why Chicago, but it has been on my mind ever since then. I've applied for school there, I've visited several times, on my last visit I even looked at some apartments. I am constantly thinking of living there. Here is the thing, I've only been when is mildly cold and I was FREEZING. I can't imagine living there when it actually cold. I also found the cost of every day live is experience, so i've talked myself out of it then. But here I am again, thinking that I should move. I am constantly, for years, been looking a apartments, browsing jobs, I just can't escape the thought of living there.

I don't know if this is some cosmic way of telling me I should go, because its ALWAYS on my mind, or if this my way of escaping, hoping that my life would be different there? If a higher power is real and this is there way of communicating that this should, could, and would have been the right move all along? That if I would have listened and went when I wanted at 18 my life would be totally different? I wonder as to why, out of all the ideas i've had for my life, wanting kids, getting married, living in Europe, starting a street corn business, all those have changed. But not this, this is ALWAYS a reccouring though. Is that normal? I just feel like I have talked myself out of it so many times but find myself always trying to go back.

I feel like maybe this is all just a way of escaping? Daydreaming to fill the time? That maybe I am romanticizing the whole Idea. Or maybe its scary because it would be the first real decision i've had to make for myself. But I truly don't know if THIS is the right step.