Any sort of list and I'm feeling overwhelmed. I'm learning to break things down and look at a list and task as very small things but I'm not good at it and if I'm feeling overwhelmed it feels nearly impossible to not see a list as an insurmountable mountain. I just completely shut down and get stuck. Sometimes I play my little puzzle games cause it's like the only thing my brain can process. Other times I just sit doing absolutely nothing. I want to do something I want to get up but I'm just frozen feeling like I want to cry and scream at myself because I have all this stuff that needs to be done.

We just moved and I need to finish unpacking but in order to unpack the kitchen I need to finish wiping down and repainting cupboards. I told myself after the move I was going to try to be better at being organized and keeping things picked up but how am I supposed to do that when some days it's a struggle to just get up and get a glass of water when I'm thirsty. Before the move I thought I was handling my symptoms okay and now I see that I'm just as awful as before.

I'm just stressed and whenever I get stressed my anxiety and depression symptoms flare up. Not sure that it's technically classified as depression anymore and more so anhedonia. I think it gets worse when I'm stressed because my adhd symptoms are very apparent when I'm stressed and it's my adhd symptoms that cause the anhedonia.

I just want to curl up and cry. The only thing that keeps me moving throughout the day is my son. I don't care how shit I'm feeling I'll do what I need to take care of him. I just feel awful though because days like today I don't engage with him as much as I should. We don't go on a walk, we don't go to the park. It's unfair to him that days like today my best is just hanging out at home with him letting him play independently.