Hey ADHD fam, So I’m dating a very sweet man with mild ADHD (untreated) which I also have (recently re-started treatment).

He thinks I’m wonderful, is very kind, and I’m attracted to him physically.

But I have two issues in the bedroom and I’m wondering if anyone can comment with success stories of how you may have overcome the same? (I’m aware that he and I might just be incompatible; I’d like to consider examples of solutions I may not have thought of?)

Issues you’ve solved or have advice for?

1. I get annoyed when he forgets “obvious” (to me!) things and then I’m not turned on. I am spacey about some things too. I think the only solution to this is to focus on what he does remember and try not to get annoyed?

2. His pressure is way too light. Everywhere he touches me during sex, his touch is light in a way that irritates and distracts me. I need firm pressure anywhere to enjoy sexual touch. Weirdly, he does pressure “right” when he’s giving massages. He’s open to feedback on sex and tries to be really attentive, but it’s been 3-4x where I’ve tried to show him how I prefer to be touched with no improvement. I am starting to avoid sex 😞.

I’ve never had this pressure issue with other partners. It’s like he’s afraid to be firm, or too distracted to be firm, and it’s driving me crazy (not in a good way). We’re both grown and sexually experienced.

Can he learn or do I give up?