I’ve had hyperfixations in the past, but I always forget how awful they are until I hit another one.

I’m constantly focused on one thing when I have other things to think about. If I’m not thinking about or interacting with that thing to some capacity, I feel anxious, sick, and totally miserable. I exhaust myself just thinking about it, literally, because it brings on a really rough bout of insomnia.

If there’s no new content for it after an extended period I get antsy and upset. I can’t talk to anyone about it because they’re all annoyed that I haven’t stopped so I’ve been keeping it to myself.

They last so long. I’ve been on one for about five months now and I thought it was going away which made me a little upset but now it’s hit me again full force because I realized something new and it brought me down a new avenue and I just feel like it has taken my life away from me but I can’t stop.

It just feels like I’m stuck in an entirely different world, like I’m on the other side of a one way mirror because everyone’s looking at me but they can’t see me or what’s going on inside my head. They think they can break it by telling me to just think of something else. It’s actually quite harrowing