Any time I want to improve myself, my situation, have productive communication with my wife, try to organize my home (hell, just finish unpacking after several years living in this "new" home), look for a therapist, research parenting skills, etc etc...

It ultimately just leaves me feeling so completely unequipped and overwhelmed. I just hate myself so much for this. I know that on paper, and in the eyes of everyone in my family and close friends, I am a good dad. But I can't feel that at all. I can't feel or remember the wins. It's all just a fog of failure and self loathing.

Sorry for this low effort and pointless post...I guess I just felt like journaling and letting others that feel the same know that other people struggle so hard as well.