Typical adhd, unmedicated and undiagnosed up until recently. I feel like a horrible partner who can't do anything right. It's been 2.5 years since we have been dating and it's been rough. I forget to be romantic, to text back, I'm so fucking tired all the time that it's impossible for me to go out on dates more than a fixed amount of time and spontaneous plans are my nemesis. I'm always busy because of my poor time management, late because of my time blindness and forgetful about the most important things, even when I do care.

I don't think they are happy with me and I can't change after a certain point. I tried to go above and beyond for their birthday this year - I tried to be romantic.. something I struggle with a lot. I'm trying to give them time. I'm trying to be more spontaneous. To keep my mood under control. To communicate my thoughts better. But I don't think it's working. I constantly feel like they resent me for some fuck ups I did.. and will probably continue to do so in the future.

I don't know how to fix everything. I don't know how to be a better partner. I'm trying so hard, but I'm not making any progress. I have no one to tell me if I'm doing things right. Or that my efforts are showing. I feel embarassed to ask my partner because I guess these things are bare minimum and don't really deserve praise. Is it okay of me to expect my partner to understand my disability or is it unreasonable? If anyone has gone through this, please give me some advice. I'm at such a low point and constantly in fear... I don't know how to navigate this anymore