I'm a cyber security student in my first year. I got my diagnosis at the start of May. I have assignments due today and over the next few days. I've barely started, haven't absorbed any of the material, can't bring myself to put pen to paper and the first road bump I hit brings back all of the feelings of not ever being good enough.

I won't have anything to show on time for any of these assignments, I went to university to try and prove something to myself, but every snag I hit makes me want to disappear to put it delicately.

I so desperately want to be someone I'm not, someone who can sit down and get work done little and often, someone who can take notes and be proactive about making progress instead of rushing at the idea of a looking countdown. These past few weeks of anxiety over my inaction have been so tolling I've had numerous emotional outbursts and been unable to keep my composure around those around me.

I don't know what to do, I'm so so tired of trying.