I (25F) was diagnosed with ADHD some months ago. In my family, we never talked about feelings so I grew up with no one to share my struggles with. Everytime my parents had a disagreement, it would always cause fights - I mean, they would always shout at eachother, beat each other up in front of us, calling names to eachother, and so on.

Now that I grew up, I find myself avoiding conflits as I know that if something will trigger me, I will probably get furious and start shouting at the person, as this is how I learned to deal with arguments.

My friends and family see me as a pretty calm and emphatic person. But I bottle up my feelings in order to avoid confrontation. That’s until I can’t keep my feelings anymore, and when that happens I end the relationship/friendship abruptly, or say things I don’t want to say/ say it agressively.

At this point, I avoid doing anything that can give me the sense of rejection, or making me feel inferior, I barely leave my house. I can’t stand people who are rude, it makes me wanna shout at them and put them on their place imeddiatly. I don’t always do it, but I’m afraid they trigger me so much that I do it.

No one is superior to anyone. I understand that this is my coping mechanism to feel some safety, but this causes me more harm than it helps.

I started therapy one month ago, but I could use some kind words and to know that I’m not the only one this happens to.

TLDR: How do you guys deal with rejection sensitive disorder? Do you avoid conflits because you are afraid of reacting agressively? Thanks in advance.