Long story short, my PCP stopped prescribing my Adderall that I've been on for the last five years - back in October.

Due to stress, life circumstances, and the irony with needing my medication, but feeling as though I only have 35-40% motivation at any given time - it's been a long process for me in finding a new doctor.

I finally have an appointment with a psychiatrist that feels promising, after a couple who lead me nowhere - but I can't get that appointment for a little over a month from now.

I also haven't ever had so many "important" things I HAVE to be getting done - consecutively. This feels like it's ruining my life, more so than it already is. Everything, and I mean almost everything - is an absolute chore. I can't even talk myself into a third of the shit I need to be doing. I need to get a job ...yesterday, but that feels damn near impossible.

It feels as though medication is a privilege more than it's a right - and depending on who you may or may not be blessed with - they'll look at you like a junkie despite being on the medication for years. Im useless off of it, and the four and a half months I've been "off" of it - I'm just as useless and feel just as shitty as I did before getting diagnosed.

Help 🥲 I haven't felt like this in years and definitely am having trouble dealing with it.