Effff my liiiiiiiife I bought a brand new phone like three weeks ago and last night, whilst home, it has completely fucking vanished.

I live alone, it had just died and I thought I did / was planning to plug it in and then poof, it’s gone. Since then, I’ve looked around my home for like 8 hours now. In the fridge, freezer, garbage, recycling, drawers, bins, flipped over and searched inside couches, moved mattresses to check under the bed, retraced steps, asked folks in the bakery downstairs in case I dropped it off the fire escape when I wasn’t paying attention. Bathroom, office, have crawled on every floor surface of my not-even-big apartment, under things, on top of things, over and over and over again and it is just fucking gone.

I am so frustrated. Why didn’t I put it on the charger? Paranoid- did someone come into my room (it has an outside door) only to take it but not my work phone / MacBook / kobo right beside it, all while I didn’t hear? checked this dish rack, under the sink, every inch of my bathroom, the hamper, every set of pockets / even the ones i haven’t worn, behind things, under the rug, bins, bags, fucking everywhere

Part of me feels like I’m going to find it like, somewhere glaringly obvious but I’ve checked every glaringly obvious place I can imagine. I’ve felt stuff with my hands in case my eyes were missing things. Just fucking everything

I’m exhausted and it ruined every single one of my plans today. I’m embarrassed and angry and sad and frustrated at myself that I’m letting it get to me like this… like I couldn’t just get on with my day and worried about this later.

It doesn’t help that I reached out to a friend about our plans and didn’t hear back for 2 hours, and by the time I did hear back I just had a stress migraine.

I tried to shake it off, listen to an album, read a book fr a bit, escape my life, but I couldn’t knock it off.

I’m so tired of being this person :(