In the past couple of weeks a lot of big changes happened, won’t go too far into it but mental health personal rock bottom and relationship stuff(not really bad stuff). With these changes a lot of feelings bubbled up, and I realized I still had a mask up, I thought it was down, but apparently not. I made the realization that I spent pretty much everyday of my life since I was a kid(somewhere around 8-12) with a mask in place. It dulled how I felt a lot of things, yeah stuff still upset me but it wasn’t so much(at least not externally) and of course there’s the mask of going out and working with the public, being talkative and “normal”, that was exhausting, as I’m sure everyone who’s done it understands. But this secondary mask is down now….I’m FEELING everything. It’s like emotional whiplash. Ultimately it’s wonderful, I have a very strong support system which is why that initial mask slipped and I was more myself than usual.

TLDR: I feel weird because I had a tertiary mask that I used to hide from myself without realizing, now I’m feeling it all and it’s feels weird.