My son is just about to turn 6. He’s shown some signs of ADHD. His hyper focus towards some things, trouble finishing a task, stimming. We filled out the Vanderbilt assessment and are meeting with a child psychologist soon.

My question comes from something that happened tonight. We were doing our bedtime routine: we read 2 books (which he picks), he brushes his teeth, then we read him a third book before bed. He has been assigned a long book from school that parents need to read and ask question about. His third book was going to be that.

When we broke down the steps that were going to happen, teeth, school book, then bed, He became defiant about brushing his teeth. We did everything we could to get him to brush his teeth. Asked nicely, rephrased it, gave the order of events again, even to brush his teeth for him. He refused in all cases. Even so much as to yell “no”. A two minute thing became a 15 minute ordeal.

I had to go put our other son to sleep so I don’t know how my wife got this conversation going, but she said he stated he knew the right choice but just couldn’t make it.

Obviously this is very frustrating for us and it’s not the first time it’s happened either. But knowing he has ADHD, how can I support him better? How can we get him to make the right choices when he knows what he should be doing? Could be there is something else going on that isn’t ADHD that makes him act this way.

Just wondering if anyone else has been through something similar and what is the best way to go about this. This happens in other situations like getting shoes on. I know my approach needs to change and that’s why I’m here.

Thank you for any insight this community can provide