I used to have a wonderful ANR with my ex.

It didn't start out with this kink. It slowly materialized between us organically. Our kinks were 95% in sync, even had similar plans for a future house together.

Because all of the emotions were there, once we started with anr it just furthered our deep emotional bond. It felt like the purest form of love. We were close to lactation which in itself was a kink. But it progressed to feeling like that would have been yet another level of intimacy, being able to share that experience would have been so much more meaningful.

It was therapeutic and instantly calmed me down when she played with my hair or gave me a hug or laid on top of me so I felt her weight..(yeah she was a BBW). The takeaway from all this is being in an ANR became so much more than just for fun. It became a way to have a deep emotional bond. An even deeper bond when I felt loved, cared for, nurtured and cherished.

I've been in a number of relationships but none have been as significant and meaningful as this one was. everyday that goes by I miss my her. In another life I wish everything could work out.

What I want to say is being in this dynamic is a big responsibility, you get into the deepest parts of your partner's heart. There's a Freudian aspect to this as with everything intimate but I feel this is a dynamic that adds more to the intimacy in an emotional and maternal aspect.

As such it's very easy to break someone and it's very hard to move on once they've experienced the loving and caring side of you.

It's going to take me a very long time to come to terms with it, I hope I do. I hope to find this dynamic again someday.