So, I'm really new to the abdl lifestyle. Like, really, really new. I've known about it for quite some time, in one form or another. My mother has been disabled all my life, so diapers were always a thing around the house. And beyond that, I've always known it was a kink, or a way of life for others.

I've always been very open to any sort of alt lifestyle choices, and have always identified as gender-fluid / trans. However, I never dared to explore the abdl lifestyle for fear of what my previous partners would have thought.

I've been with my current partner for almost 8 years now, and for whatever reason, I can't seem to get it out of my head. I'll go for a long bikeride and try to talk myself out of it, but when I come back home, the warm comfort of the thought starts pulling at me again.

The idea of being pampered, totally helpless, unable to use my hands, or to speak, being fed from a bottle, cuddled, coddled, having my back caressed, tickled, being cooed at, spoken softly to, having tummy time while a TV hums in the background, while my Mommy has guests over, having adult drinks and laughing amongst themselves, understanding them but not being able to speak as a binky is in my mouth, sleeping in a sleep sack.. all of it. It just makes me feel so weak, warm and fuzzy.

Even just writing this, my mind swims and I feel so.. poofy, light, airy, and innocent.

I feel torn, to say the least. And sort of afraid.

I'd love to get to know you all better over the coming days, and hopefully I won't be a stranger. I admire your bravery, honesty, and self-respect to be your best selves.

Bess 🎀