I don’t know what the hell I’m looking for at this point. I was trying to find someone dominant to talk with and play with but the process of trying to find someone has left me disillusioned about meeting someone and diapers in general.

I’ve been trying for years to find an opportunity to actually get to explore my kinks with another person. So many people I’ve tried to talk to and nothing ever comes to fruition, either they don’t pass the vibe check or if they do they end up ghosting me. I don’t live close to any big cities so there aren’t many opportunities to meet with anyone local.

I’m not able to explore my kinks irl at this point and that’s an issue because a big thing for me is being made to wear diapers and not having a choice in the matter.

I’ve settled with the idea of trying to find someone online to talk to but I keep running into the same issues as before, either getting ghosted or freaked out. Having this happen over and over again has really taken its toll on me.

I used to wear diapers to try and forget about this cruel world for a second and to bring comfort and enjoyment to my life. Now they are just a reminder of the continuous cycle of pain and rejection. It feels like my happy little escape is being ruined and I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t want to try to find anyone anymore because I know how things are going to go because that’s how they’ve always go.

What do they say? The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Idk I just hate everything and I’ve grown so cynical about this search but I don’t want to feel this way about something I’m supposed to love and enjoy.

I could use some advice and some words of encouragement in this time, I’d appreciate any help I can get.