TL;DR I’m back on Reddit after a purge, still not sure about myself at all

Hey Everyone, I recently logged back into Reddit after months of my biggest purge yet due to a massive wave of kink shame, I went from wearing diapers on the regular and sleeping with my pacifiers every night to putting everything away and just trying not to think about ABDL related…

Not sure what happened to me to be honest, I woke up one day feeling horrible about ABDL and that everything about it was wrong, I locked everything away and tried to pretend that I wasn’t into it anymore, but then the urges came fast and they hit me hard, then a few days ago I couldn’t take it anymore and I popped my paci in, it felt like an old friend I hadn’t seen in a long time and I slept so well that night thanks to it, after that the urge to wear came back too but I haven’t had time to do that yet

Still as I type this sucking my dummy I still have no clue what I am and I don’t think I ever will, I’ve tried many times to become acquainted with other ABDLs but they either vanished or I chickened out, this is mainly cause I don’t 110% know where I stand in this lifestyle, right now I just wanna say I’m a guy that love pacifiers and the occasional diaper but I know it’s more than that, one thing I know is I don’t wanna purge again for a long time because all it did was make me self loathe about liking ABDL in the first place which didn’t help at all 😩

Anyways sorry for the essay I just needed to get this off my chest, I’m still not 100% better mentally but it feels good to be back on Reddit 😊