Hi hi,

So about a month ago my girlfriend and I split up. I have depression and I’ve been struggling for a while. She was very accepting of ABDL and she would participate, but she was wrong for me in too many other ways. We were supposed to go to Cap, but I was too depressed and ended up cancelling the flights and hotel and broke up before we left.

Now that I’m back to being single I’m having a really, really difficult time mentally. All I want to do all day is get diapered, grab a pacifier, and lay in bed. I want to pretend the world doesn’t exist.

I’m having trouble keeping up with my adult responsibilities at home, and having a hard time doing much of anything outside of work. I want to get back into the dating world, but it feels a ways off. I feel isolated and alone right now. The only real life person I talk to about ABDL is my therapist who is supportive, but is concerned about how I’m balancing to the two sides of my life (adult and little boy).

I bought Dr. Rhoda’s book and I started doing some of the exercises but I run out of steam, and then it takes me a long time before I muster up the energy to open it up again. I’ve been heavily considering telling my best friend of 25 years about ABDL because I feel alone, and like the rest of my life is a cover up of how I’m really doing. I’m too ashamed to actually bring it up though, and starting to feel like I’m going to die alone. I know Brene Brown always preaches how shame needs secrecy to thrive, so that’s the only reason I’ve been considering sharing. I feel like I’m not being authentic if my closest friend doesn’t know quite possibly the biggest thing I struggle with.

I turned 30 a few months ago, and all of this has me reevaluating everything. I want to be in a better place mentally and shame wise before I re-enter the dating pool but I don’t know how to get there. I feel like I need to accept and love myself before I can love someone else. Does anyone have any concrete steps they took to overcome shame and build some self acceptance? Something they do on a daily basis to practice it?

I conceptually understand that I’m not doing anything wrong by wearing diapers, but I never seem to actually internalize it. So I don’t feel like I need to be reminded that I’m not doing anything I need to feel guilty about, but maybe you can give me examples of how you got from where I am to a closer place of acceptance.

TL;DR: I’m feeling super lost in life, sorry for the long post. Please give me your practical advice for overcoming shame. Thank you 🥲