I played with a guy and it didn't go according to plan. He said what I did was fine, that it ended up working out, but I was still feeling guilty. I'd pushed myself a lot and was at work, exhausted, and near tears. I told him I was dropping and really upset

I asked him to tell me I'm a good girl because I felt a bit like a fuck up. He refused. I reiterated that I needed this, he said I had to earn it. I told him I had and I'd done a lot to make him happy. He told me I did it for myself.

I called my safeword. Told him again what I needed and he refused. Said he wouldn't be a good daddy if he bent the rules. This is the second time we've played, we aren't in an established dynamic. He's not my daddy.

I told him I called yellow so we weren't playing that game right now. He said he was sorry I was upset and hoped I feel better and I needed to focus on work.

I ended up crying in the bathroom at my job and texting friends, asking for some reassurance that I'm not a fuck up. I'm still struggling a lot and a huge part of me keeps wanting to make excuses for him and blame myself