Hi, I'm Rylie. I have posted about this before, but I created a new profile to try and tie together this side of my life. My relationship with diapers has also taken some new turns of late. I am hoping to share to help those who want to wear more, but maybe aren't quite ready yet. I'd also love to hear about others' journeys.

The beginning isn't all that interesting. It was just years of dabbling, fantasizing, and waiting for a dominant to push me further. I started to be intensely curious about diapers and being a baby again just about as soon as I couldn't remember being one. Of course, unsupervised internet and growing up evolved that into a full blown fetish. Eventually, I got brave enough to buy from a drugstore, and then order ABDL specific diapers from websites. I fantasized about not just going twenty-four seven but being forced to. All in all, not that far off from the norm for many of us.

It really changed though for me a year ago. I had tried as long as three months with a prior play partner, but it worked from home and honestly the hurdle wasn't that high to cross. I started a new job and reconnected with an old flame. Just as friends, but that didn't stop them from being supportive and holding me accountable for my dreams.

I soon found myself diapered twenty-four seven for a month. Including at work, around my family, and just about everywhere. It was only by luck I didn't end up at the doctor's or something in pampers. It was supposed to be two, but it was too much too quick and there were some communication issues. We kept at it, I got to wear diapers for days or weeks at a time, my friend got to 'force' me to be chaste. No device, just trust and I obeyed.

Every time I went to work diapered and nothing bad happened I grew a bit less anxious. Conversations with my therapist encouraged me to continue. Her opinion was that I worried too much about what others thought, and that my kink was actually serving as therapy. Wearing diapers was something I wanted bad enough to overcome my anxiety and experience it not being a big deal first hand.

I had pretty much worn nightly since that first month. My room is just too far from the potty, and I have to get up at least twice a night to pee. I enjoyed having less interruptions and getting more rest. Soon, I found myself wearing pretty much anytime I wasn't at work. Changing into diapers became like sliding into a comfy pair of pajamas after a long day. Then, I started wearing to work entirely on my own, no prompting, no orders.

I came out to my parents to avoid the anxiety of them hearing the crinkle or noticing the bulk. Surprise, they already knew. I also told my doctor at my therapist's insistence. I've had life long issues with a small bladder and intense painful urgency. Total control, but didn't mean it was pleasant. Doc found nothing wrong beyond bladder size. Her verdict was if I didn't want to consider medication, or surgery. then diapers were the best option.

The final straw, was I threw a temper tantrum when my toppy friend made me wear panties. I was legitimately upset at losing my safety blanket. Their response...fine, stay in diapers. Two months minimum, up to four at their discretion before I am allowed to make my own decision. If I choose to stay diapered, four will become six. If I still chose diapers six will become a year. If I still choose diapers and haven't lost control...then actively trying to lose control becomes the goal. My panties will be destroyed...and diapers becomes forever.

Will I go that far?

No clue, probably not. I am still enamored with saving the decision for a full in person dominant. Plus, there is a different appeal to not having a choice day to day, not just forever one thing. I like the idea of leaving that part of my fate entirely up to a serious life partner.

Could I?

Definitely. That was ultimately the goal. To prepare myself to make good on my fantasy and not be full of talk only to trip short of the finish line.

How does my friend enforce it?

Trust is important to me, it would break my heart to betray them. At first I was forced to send a picture before every diaper change outside the house. Proved I was both wearing and wetting them. Now, I am already so psychologically dependent on them, just sporadic on demand checks keep me honest.

What changed?

We removed other play from me wearing. It isn't a scene, it is just an expectation or a rule. We shot for making it my normal and succeeded.

Isn't normal boring?

Sometimes. But, there is an extra thrill in this near permanent shift in my role. I wear diapers, that is who I am now. Any momentary loss of excitement is replaced by this sense of affirmation and realizing myself as an adult baby, not just playing at it.

I know that was a slog, but I hope it was at least interesting or helpful. I'd be really curious to hear about others who got to twenty-four seven be it for weeks, permanently, or anything in between. How did you do it? How do you feel about it now?