I’m 40, so yes, I’ve found comfort and enjoyment with diapers my entire life. But something has happened that I never thought could happen...the interest, though not totally gone, seems to be lessening week after week. It is making me sad.

I have a stash that isn’t really depleting, and I feel like a part of me is sort of atrophying. I just look at things that used to bring me so much joy and find my brain almost trying to compute what it is about it that I liked. It’s like I forgot or am forgetting certain feelings.

I attribute it to a lack of play or interaction with other human beings who have a similar interest. It got boring and old in some ways. I tried for a long time to meet others and it never worked out for me. I’ve been ghosted more times than you’d believe, and I am VERY acutely aware of what is creepy and what is not, and I have always approached others with respect and judiciousness. Also, I’m not even looking for sexual encounters, just friends. (Maybe that’s why I’m fading?)

Anyway, if anyone has ever felt like this for a very extended time, or if you’ve found yourself slowly losing interest, I’d like to hear from you. This feels distinctly different from the well-known and common purge days of my youth. This is different. It’s scary.