hi everyone! i (f 22) am semi new on the scene! definitely new to being involved with the community, but i’ve lurked around online and practiced privately for about 8 years.

unfortunately, a lot of my experiences, if not all of them, have been abusive for a a variety of reasons. i was left with a ton of sex and abdl related trauma, so i entered the vanilla dating sphere. i wound up with a partner who is very open, and he very naturally and independently took on the daddy role after learning vaguely of my history. he’s our leader and provider at home and loves to care for me and spoil me. i’m regularly encouraged to and praised for indulging in whatever makes me happy, including all of my baby tendencies.

even with that, though, i know that he did not come to our relationship with any personal interest in abdl. there are tons of things i’d love to do, but i’m so hesitant to do them around him, let alone ask him to be involved. this isn’t usually a big deal as my love and affection tanks are easily kept full in other ways, but lately as i have been processing my trauma, im feeling more and more desire to reclaim the things that once gave me a deep sense of comfort. i don’t want to accidentally ick him out, but more than that, i feel guilty and shameful for involving him/wanting him to be involved/ exposing him to any of it at all.

i’m not sure what to do! i guess i don’t really know what the point of this is either. thoughts? advice? i’d love to make some friends and not feel so alone! i was all by myself the first time around, and i want to have a hand to hold as i try to get lost in babyspace again~