Had a bit of a text-based miscommunication oopsie with my long-term play partner today. We talked it through and all was well… except I was completely panicking and crying the entire time on my side of things. 😭💦

Through a misunderstanding about our mutual interest in diapers, I was suddenly struck with the fear that she was not into some aspects of ABDL/ageplay we have been exploring and it absolutely floored me. I felt so much shame. This wasn’t the case, thankfully, but I’m still reeling from how vulnerable and scary it felt.

I realized how on eggshells I really am. How afraid I am of disappointing or disgusting her. I respect her and care for her so deeply. I would never want her to try anything she wasn’t 100% comfortable with. But I’m also realizing this is a ME thing. She has been so perfect and patient with me — but I’m afraid.

Does communication get easier? Will I ever stop feeling afraid that I’m “forcing” or coercing my extremely willing and lovely partners into this? Anyone else struggle with this?